How Far Can I Run?

All day today I have wanted to run away.  I wanted to go as far as I could and as fast as I could drive.  Not sure where I was going or where I would end up but just wanted to be as far away from my life as I could get.  The thing that kept me from leaving was a best friend that reminded me how much my children needed me, how much my grandchildren needed me and how very much she needed me.  It made me think about the things I would miss out on if I tried to run away.  The smile on my grandson’s face when he learns a new trick on his skate board, the look of “Gee, Grandma I am glad to see you” when my grand daughter runs and jumps into my arms, “Hi Memo” from the sparkling brown/black eyes of my grandson.  I would miss my grand daughter taking her first steps which will come very soon.  I would miss my pre-teen grand daughter telling me about her very important social life in a way only her words can convey.  She is 12 going on 20 and she is beautiful.  I would miss my grandson and his very affectionate hugs and always telling me he loves me.  I would miss hearing “Hey” from my youngest daughter when I pick up the phone, ”Hi Mom” from my oldest daughter when I call her and “Mother” from my son when I answer his calls to tell me something new in his life.  I can’t do without these things in my life.  These are the things that bring me joy in spite of the sadness that surrounds me.  I know that no matter how far or how fast I would run there would still be the same circumstances in my life.  All day today I would go about my business and think how this could possibly be in God’s plan for my life.  I don’t believe that everything that happens is God’s will for us.  I know that there is an enemy out there just waiting to destroy us and he will go to great lengths to kill, steal and destroy.  If I ran away from life I would destroy my family.  What a victory that would be for the enemy.  No instead of running away from life I need to run to God. 

 I ran to Oklahoma last week and spent the week with my little Sister and her family and my little brother and his family.  I have a very special family and I am ashamed to say it took Adam’s death to make me realize just how special they are to me.  They were there from the beginning of our stay in the hospital to the night he died.  It was hard to be there and have the memories of the time we spent there whirl around me.  We drove by the hospital one night and I began to weep just thinking about what took place there.  This Christmas is going to be very hard because no matter what Adam was always around on the holidays.  My family alternates our holidays and this is the year we all come together for Christmas.  I am so thankful I will have all my family with me during this very difficult time.  It will be hard but together we will help one another thru it.  During this Thanksgiving season thank God for your family.  We don’t get to choose our families but if I did I wouldn’t have chosen any differently then God did for me. 

I did run to God this morning and I climbed up in His lap and let Him hold me in His arms as only God can do.  When I climbed down from His lap my fears were less and I knew He would get me thru whatever the enemy tried to throw my way.  His rod protects me and His staff guides me.  He leads me beside still, restful waters.  God is my Comforter, my strong shoulder to cry on.  As I walk thru the valley of the SHADOW of death, God is my light, for where there are shadows there is LIGHT.  If you are facing a situation that makes you want to run, RUN to God, He is waiting to catch you and protect you from harm.  He loves you more than anything in all the world.  He wants to be there for you. God refreshes and restores our lives.  God has a plan and purpose for all our lives, He is there to lead us to presence of the Holy Spirit who will give us direction to that plan.

Running to the Father,

“Memo” to Mackenzie, Spencer, Logan, Reagan, Hayden and Lauren